


Unattainable Sin

by ddelusionall



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ, JYJ (Band)
Genre: Changmin is a dick, Dubious Consent, He tries to make up for it, M/M, POV First Person, POV Shim Changmin, Past Abuse, Taking Advantage, Underage Sex, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-02
Updated: 2011-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:54:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 17,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23881135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ddelusionall/pseuds/ddelusionall
Summary: I'm going to hell. Really, there's no way around it. Lusting after your girlfriend's 14-year-old brother is a one way ticket to burning for eternity. But even that's not enough to stop me from acting on it.
Relationships: Kim Jaejoong/Park Yoochun, Kim Junsu (JYJ)/Shim Changmin
Kudos: 4





	1. Her Little Brother

**Author's Note:**

> I am importing my stories from LiveJournal. The original fic can be found [here](http://be-ddelusionall.livejournal.com/).
> 
> I haven't read this story in a long time, so I may have missed some tags. Just let me know if I did.

My girlfriend’s younger brother is the hottest piece of ass in the world.

There, I said it. I admit it.

Fuck.

I’ve been dating his sister for two years. I met Junsu when he was twelve and by thirteen my brain was already saying helpful things like, “He’s going to be hot when he gets older,” and “His girlfriend later is going to be lucky to get to kiss those lips.”

I am addicted to his smiles and to his laughter, and the way his shorts hang off his body. He is going to be gorgeous when he got older.

Between thirteen and fourteen, he went from adorable boy to hot teenager with girls fawning over him. He grew probably six inches, and his tiny muscles developed from being on the soccer team. He never lost the boyish looks with me though, and I guess that’s because he saw me as the older brother he didn’t have, so he always played around and acted cute around me, smiling, batting his eyes lashes at me, pouting when he wanted something.

I did not see him as a younger brother.

I saw him as an unattainable sin. I’d dated guys before (his sister didn’t know that), but they didn’t really do it for me like girls did. But Junsu, fuck, there was just something about his personality, his never-ending smile, his mouth, his eyes, his lips, his cheeks. I loved winter the most, when his cheeks were red from the cold and he’d jump on his sister and I while we were on the couch and try to put his cold hands on my stomach, under my shirt.

I’m finally leaving for college and the only thing running through my mind is that I’m not going to have an excuse to go over to her house and ogle his fourteen year old ass.  
His sister’s name is Suyoung.

When I cry out “Su” in bed, it isn’t her pussy I’m fucking in my mind. She’s just finished high school, and she’s going to a different school. She wants to design clothes, and she has a scholarship. I postponed college partially for her, and partially because I did not have the money and my parents aren’t rich. I had to work for a couple years, but I’ve continued to study.

I go to Junsu’s soccer games with her. He is a great player, and at the end of the games he always hugs me, skin sweaty, hair wet and plastered to his face.

He calls me hyung, and treats me like his older brother.

And every day I dig my grave deeper to hell as I stroke off thinking of those red lips around my cock and those shining eyes full of lust.

He had a girlfriend last year, but when he told me about their kiss, he said it was gross and he hadn’t liked it. It took all my self control not to kiss him to show him what a good kiss was.

I help him with his homework, make him food and play video games with him. His sister always says that I’m such a good role model and she’s so glad that I take care of him.

I want to take care of him so much.

“Hyung,” he says. “It’s your turn.”

I snap out of my daze and look back at the board. I’ve been teaching him how to play chess. He’s good at video games, but he’d never even heard of chess before.

I feel like my king, trying to keep things in front of me (like my queen), as I’m slowly backed into a corner.

He’s biting his lip in concentration. His hands are gripping the edge of the table. His head tilts as he stares at the board.

My bishop is in trouble, but if I move him then I’m fucked later. I’m not sure if Junsu sees it. I move my rook and take one of his pawns.

“Hyung?” he says.

“What?”

“Would this be a good move?” he asks, and shows how his queen can take my bishop.

I’m tempted to say yes, because he hasn’t seen my knight, but I shake my head. “Look closer, Su-ah. Your queen is your life, remember that.”

_Yeah, Min, remember that. Queen. Not the queen’s younger brother._

It’s not like I don’t love his sister. I do. I mean, yes, I’m going to college and she’s not coming with me. We haven’t made each other any promises, which I wouldn’t be able to keep anyway because I want to know what her younger brother’s lips look like around my cock.

He leaves his queen and moves a pawn.

It’s a good move, blocking me from forcing him to move his bishop away from his king. I’m distracted by the way his tongue runs over his bottom lip. I wonder if he knows how sexy that is.

“Do you have to go to college, hyung?” he asks.

“Yes. Everyone does.”

“Will you still be in college when I go?”

“Probably not.”

He pouts and swears.

“Su,” I admonish.

“Sorry, I’m …” His cheeks turn red. “I’m going to miss you.”

“I’m going to miss you,” I say.

He bites his lip. I move my rook again, retreating as I see that his last move has put the rook in direct line of his bishop. I don’t mind losing a bishop, but I need my rook.

He takes my bishop with a knight. I take his knight with a pawn.

“Hyung,” he whines. “I didn’t see that.”

 _I didn’t see myself falling hard for you._ “Too bad.”

He pouts and god, I want to suck that bottom lip into my mouth and chew on it. I check the time. His sister won’t be home for another couple hours.

I suddenly want this game over. I make bad moves and he smiles in victory when he finally checkmates me.

And then he frowns. “You lost on purpose.”

I smile. “Prove it.”

“How am I supposed to learn that way?”

“Prove it,” I say again.

He pouts as he starts putting the pieces back in their places for a new game.

“Let’s go watch TV,” I say. My hands are suddenly sweaty because when we watch TV, he curls up against me.

“Okay.” He puts the game away. I turn my head and watch as he stretches to lift the game to the top shelf where the rest of the games are. His arms aren’t quite long enough. I stand up and get behind him just as he loses his balance. I put one arm around his waist and use the other to put the game up.

“Thanks, hyung,” he whispers.

My fingers are on his skin. My eyes shut, willing control as his body presses against mine. I have a white-knuckled grip on the frame of the bookshelf.

“Hyung,” he says, quietly, nervous.

I shiver and twist us away from the door. I keep my arm around him because I can. He laughs as my fingers tighten on his side and he struggles, saying that tickles and I smile, the moment broken for now as I drag him to the couch, both hands tickling him. He hits the arm of the couch and falls back, away from me, knees hooked on the arm. His shirt has ridden up enough that I can almost see his nipples.

I stare down at him, unconsciously move so I’m pinning his legs. My eyes are on his body.

His breath speeds up, but I don’t dare meet his eyes. I don’t want to see fear or confusion. I want to see lust and need. I can feel it in my face. I lick my lips.

He whimpers my name, and I shut my eyes even as my fingers reach for him again.

He gasps as my fingers brush over his ribs.

_control you bastard, control._

I swallow roughly, and step away from him. His legs immediately curl into the couch and his arms cross over his body. I move around and sit down. He stays against the arm, bringing his knees up to his chest, arms around them. I don’t dare look at him. My cock is half hard.

I turn on the TV, lay my arm against the back of the couch and stare at the moving-picture box without seeing what’s on.

Agonizing moments later, Junsu curls against my side.

Maybe he thinks he imagined it.

My fingertips run over his shoulder. His fingers tighten in my shirt and he buries his face in my chest.

“Hyung,” he whines. Low, desperate and my chest hitches.

My fingers move down his arm, across his back.

He’s shaking.

There is a voice screaming at me to stop. But my body doesn’t listen, and I don’t blame it. I don’t want to listen to it.

I’m leaving in two weeks.

My other hand curls around his hip, dangerously close to cupping his ass. His breath hitches and he lets me pull him closer. His leg falls over my lap. His face stays buried at my neck, but his breath burns with little puffs against my skin.

“H-hyung,” he stammers. His lips barely touch my skin.

I shiver. “Su-ah,” I whisper.

He shakes his head and starts chanting, “No, no, no,” even as he moves again. I arch away from the couch as his leg forces its way behind me. It’s an awkward position for both of his, but I don’t dare pull him into my lap. I can’t. If I pull him into my lap, everything is going to go to hell.

I’m going to drag him into my fantasies.

But I guess I don’t have control of him. He climbs into my lap, one knee on each side of me. I finally meet his eyes.

He’s terrified, unsure. His cheeks are red. He’s gnawing on his lower lip in indecision. I’ve lost control of myself. I touch his cheek, squeezing lightly, fingers curling around his jaw.

He sort of smiles and then his eyes flutter shut. Long lashes. His mouth opens with a gasp as my hand finally drops low enough to cup his ass.

“We--we c-can’t, h-hyung,” he says.

“I know,” I reply, but I keep touching him. I trace his eyes and nose and cheeks and lips with my fingers. His eyes flutter faster, his breath speeds up. His hands land on my chest, fingers clenching the muscles. His head falls back. I move fingers over his neck, tug on his ears. He smiles again.

“Hy-hyung,” he says and he fists my t-shirt as his hips buck forward.

My gaze is drawn down, to the erection tenting his shorts. I swallow, because just below his erection is mine.

I don’t dare. I can’t. My hand on his ass decides that I can. I pull him closer. He swallows, and his eyes open, and we’re so close, too close, but not close enough. His body presses against mine. His erection digs into my stomach. My fingers thread through his hair, holding firmly. He moans, and his tongue slips out, wetting his lower lip.

And that is my undoing.

I lean forward and kiss him. He’s frozen as I suck on his lower lip. He’s breathing fast, the sound rasping through his open mouth, over my lips. I touch my tongue to his upper lip and he whines, fingers digging painfully into my chest.

“Hyung,” he says, “Hyung, I …”

“Su-ah,” I whisper. “Tell me no, and I”ll stop. Tell me no.”

I’m half pleading for it, because if he says no, I won’t force him. I want him to say no. I need him to say no.

It’s not fair though. He’s only fourteen. He’s not going to say no.

He shakes his head, eyes shut. Again, his tongue wets his lips, but my lips are still so close to his that he licks my lips. It’s my turn to moan. My hand really grips his ass and my other arm wraps around his body, pulling us flush. I lean back, pulling him with me as we slouch on the couch. His legs move and his erection slides down my body.

He gasps, eyes flying open and he ruts against me, whole body moving.

“Fuck, Su-ah,” I whisper and kiss him again. Both my hands grip his ass and I lay us down, legs stretched out. He’s humping me, whining, and I use my hold on his ass to direct him over, so our dicks are together. My eyes shut as lust and need coil through me.

He yanks himself away from my lips, gasping, loud, and bites down on his lower lip as his body convulses. He falls limp against me, gasping harder, and wetness seeps through my pants. He shuddering, and his hands are gripping at my arms desperately.

I move my hips a tiny bit, and he whimpers.

I run my hands through his hair, kiss his head and rub his back as he calms down.

“S-s-sorry, h-hyung,” he says.

“For what?”

He buries his face in my chest, and I know he’s embarrassed.

“Don’t be sorry, dongsaeng. That was hot.”

He shakes his head, rubbing his face against me. “We-we … we can’t do this.”

“I know.”

I lift his face with both hands. His eyes are red, a tear drips down his cheek. I want to ask why he’s crying, but instead, I pull him forward and kiss him again. He sighs into my mouth. The first tentative brush of his tongue has me moaning again, holding him tightly. He follows my lead, our tongues touching and brushing. My skin is on fire, each touch is maddening. Our crotches are still wet, dirty from his orgasm.

He’s still hard.

I end the kiss and push him up. He kneels, and I let my eyes trace down his body. His nipples are budding through his t-shirt. There’s a wet spot on his pants. I reach for it, curling my fingers around his erection. There’s an obscene squelching sound and he moans, head back, eyes shut. I lift up from the couch enough to pull off my shirt.

“Take your shirt off,” I say.

He swallows. With shaking hands, he curls his fingers under the hem and lifts his t-shirt over his head.

I splay my hands over his chest, fingers brushing over both nipples.

His gasps, eyes flying open.

“Like that?” I ask.

He nods. I lick my thumb and forefinger on both hands and then slide them over his nipples. His gasp is louder. His hands grip my wrists, pushing them more against his body.

“Take your clothes off,” I say, voice harsher than I meant.

He meets my eyes, scared and unsure.

“Please,” I say, softening my tone. “You’re so sexy, Su-ah, please.”

A blush covers his already red face. He looks down, and then lashes fluttering, glances back at me. “You think I’m sexy?”

I pull him back down to me, arms around his bare back. “Yes,” I say just before I kiss him. “Very, very, temptingly, agonizingly sexy.”

He smiles into the kiss and then pushes away, hands on my chest. Cheeks still red, he ways, “You’re sexy. I … I want muscles like yours, hyung.”  
“I want an ass like yours,” I say and squeeze it.  
He laughs and squirms away from my hands. He pushes his shorts and underwear off. I stop breathing when he straddles my hips again. I don’t know where to look first. Slim hips, tiny waist. I can’t see his ass, but I know I’ll see it soon. I run fingers over his chest. His skin jerks and he whimpers with his eyes shut.

I take his hard cock in my hand and he bucks into it with a cry. His previous orgasm lets my hand slide over him easily. A moment later, he falls over me, ass in the air. I run my hand over the curve, squeezing. He moans, mouth open on my chest.

“Lick my nipples, Su-ah,” I say, speeding the strokes on his dick.

He takes a deep breath. The first touch of his tongue against my nipple has me sighing. He closes his mouth around it and sucks, tongue firm against the bud. And I moan. His breath speeds, his body shakes, and his teeth bite down as a wave of pleasure shivers through his skin. He’s going to come again. I can fill his cock swelling in preparation.

I use my grip on his ass to yank him up. He’s not expecting it so he falls up easily. I tug on him again, until he’s on my chest. One of his legs is between mine, his thigh pushing against my erection. His hands land on the arm of the couch by my head and I shift down, moaning as his leg slides over me. I stroke faster and then his cock is in my mouth. I lick the head, sucking lightly as I continue to stroke him.

He practically screams and his body jerks violently as he comes almost immediately. I suck him through it, through his whimpers and cries and swallow his orgasm. Shaking, whimpering, he falls against my chest.

I wrap my arms around his naked body.

“How was that?” I ask.

“Hy-hyung.”

“Huh?”

“That … f-fu- I like that.”

I laugh. “Most men like blow jobs, babe.”

He curls up against me, breath steadying.

“Wanna return the favor?” I ask.

He stiffens, and tilts his head to look up at me.

I smile. “Well? I’m fucking hard, Su-ah. I want to come, too.”

He blushes, biting his lower lip. “What-What should I do?”

I take him by the shoulders and push him up. “Take my pants off, and then go from there.”

He shuffles back until he’s kneeling between my legs. I have to lower one leg to the floor for comfort. He swallows, eyes on my crotch. His hands shake as he unbuttons my jeans. He becomes more confident with each button. I moan and lift my hips so my cock pushes against his hands. He freezes, and then bites his lower lip and continues. I push them down, my underwear too, and he moves back further as I curl up my legs to get them completely off.

His eyes widen as they settle on my erection. I know I’m not small. He lifts his gaze to me, and he’s scared again. I smile and touch his cheek.

“Stroke me, Su-ah,”

He swallows and looks back down. His fingers curl around the shaft and I moan, hips lifting again at the much needed contact. I’m not going to last long. I know I’m not. Not with my wet dream stroking me.

“Like this?” he asks.

“Yeah, just … let … let your fingers touch the crown,” I say. “ … when you … when you masturbate, Su-ah, just do it the same.”

His hand twists and my eyes fall shut with a moan.

“H-hyung?”

“Yeah?”

“I … I like …”

I smile and meet his nervous eyes. “What do you like? Show me.”

He swallows again and then his other hand cups my balls, soft, unsure.

“Oh, fuck,” I gasp and my hips lift again. Yeah, I’m going to come soon.

“Is that … is that okay?”

I nod. “Yes, god, yes. Su. But grip harder. Pull on them.”

He follows my request and I feel my orgasm build. I want him to lick me. I want his mouth on me. I grab both of his hands and stop him, eyes shut, willing the orgasm away. It’s a tough battle.

He’s biting his lower lip. “S-sorry, hyung.”

“Oh, no, Su, fuck, don’t you apologize. It was too good. Too … “

He tilts his head and frowns. “But I thought you wanted to come.”

“Oh, trust me, I do, but I want you to suck on me.”

His eyes go wide and he looks down at my erection. “B-but … I …”

“Do you watch porn, Su-ah?”

He blushes and nods. “Wh-when no one is home.”

“You watched someone suck on a cock before?”

“Yeah.”

“You don’t have to take it all, you know. Just what you can. Use your hand. Have you seen that?”

He nods again. “Okay.” When he wraps his hand around my cock again, I have to fight off coming right away. He licks his lips. Holds me. Gaze flicking up to mine. I watch him. He’s so nervous. He takes a deep breath and lowers his head. I hold my breath. The tip of his tongue touches the tip of my cock and I moan.

“So … fuck, Su. Such a tease,” I mutter.

He smiles, blushing and licks me again. Just that. The flat of his tongue over the head. His hand stays still.

“I … fuck, Su. I want you to put it in your mouth. I want it to get wet and slick while you rub your hand over me.”

He laughs, a nervous giggle that makes me moan. I meet his eyes and it’s the first time that we’ve started this that he’s been relaxed and not scared. He licks me again, and moves his hand a tiny bit.

“Please, Su,” I whisper, fingers tangling in his hair. His breath ghosts over the tip and there’s a stream of precome suddenly leaking from me. “Lick it up, Su, lick it up and taste me.”

His tongue runs over his lower lip again. His hand tightens on my cock as he leans down. The head of my cock disappears behind those pink lips. His tongue slips into the slit of my cock and he swallows, pressure increasing over the head.

“Fuck, Su,” I shout as my cock jerks more precome into his mouth.

He moans, and cuts it off, short, but he doesn’t remove his mouth. His tongue is going crazy, over and under, pressure along the ridge. I need him to move his hand.

“Move your hand, Su, please, please, move your hand.”

He does, down the shaft and I take the opportunity to lift my hips and more of my cock pushes into his mouth. He lets up, but doesn’t pull away like I think he will, just sucks softly, tongue still moving.

And then his hand slides up as his mouth slides down.

“Fuck!” I shout. My hand grips the back of the couch. My leg lifts and my foot settles on Junsu’s back. He does it again, taking more of me into his mouth. I can’t tear my eyes away as everything glistens with spit and his pink lips are stretched red.

And then he looks at me, eyes meeting and that vulnerable look, so innocent and worried has me coming.

“Su, Su, Su, Su,” I pant, trying to warn him, but I come too fast for him to move and he gags on the first few spurts, finally pulling away, but his hand keeps me up and a shot of come lands on his cheek, and then another on his lips and chin and I want to come again because it’s so hot seeing his face dripping with come.

My body sags as I try to breath.

And then his tongue licks the tip of me again. I moan, arm over my head.

“That … that was okay?”

I nod. “Very, very good.”

“It tastes nasty.”

I laugh and move my arm to look at him. I pull his arm and he climbs over me. Our bare skin presses together and my cock jerks and I know that I’m not going to go down any time soon. I lick up the come from his face, and then kiss him, force it into his mouth and he gags, but tries to keep kissing me anyway.

“It’s an acquired taste,” I say with his lips against mine.

Our bodies align and our cocks brush. He’s hard again. I reach between our bodies and grip them both, stroking lightly.

His eyes shut and his mouth opens. I lick his lower lip.

“You really have to go to college?” he asks suddenly.

I nod. “Yeah. I really do.”

“If you didn’t?”

I open my mouth and then shut it. I still my hands. It’s a terrifying question. If I weren’t leaving, would I have done this with my girlfriend’s little brother?

His lower lip quivers and I smile at him and kiss him. He sobs against my lips.

“Don’t, Su-ah, please. I don’t know, okay? I’ve been lusting after you for months now, but I … you’re so young, and I know myself. I would have caved and tried to kiss you even if I wasn’t going to college.”

“Really?”

“Really. You’re cute and funny and I love spending time with you.”

“But I’m so young.” He smiles. “You like me young.”

“Oh, god, Su. There are so many things wrong with that.”

“I know.” He kisses me and I moan into his mouth and let him try to lead the kiss.

After a few more minutes, I look at the clock. His sister isn’t supposed to be home for another hour, but I’m not willing to risk it. I grab my pants and pull out my phone. She’s sent me a text, and I reply to it, asking when she’ll be back. Her response is by five.

When I look back at Junsu, his hand is stroking his cock and I’m suddenly willing to risk it. I toss the phone to the floor and grip his hips. I kneel on the floor, between his legs.

“H-hyung,” he says, voice scared again.

“Trust me,” I say and he nods.

“Keep stroking yourself.” I pull him so his ass is right on the edge of the couch. I lift his legs by his knees and then drop my head. His entrance is tight and pink. My mouth waters as I stare. I brush the back of my knuckles over him.

He cries out, back arching off the couch.

Done watching, I suck his balls into my mouth, leaving my fingers against his body. He shouts again, and I feel his hand stroke faster. I don’t have lube, god why don’t I have lube? I want to feel his body clench around my fingers.

I trade places and put his balls in my hand and my mouth on his ass. I lick at each curve, sliding my tongue around everywhere so everything is wet and slick. He’s moaning loud, body shaking.

I lick his entrance. It twitches under my tongue. I do it again, and then again.

“Hyung! Hyung! Hyung!”

I push my tongue into him and he screams. My cock pulses, and I wrap my hand around it, stroking just as fast as he is.

“Oh, god, hyung, hyung!”

I love hearing his voice. I love it so much. I gather a mouthful of spit, force it into his body with a wet slurp. Quickly, I cover my finger with more, and press it against his entrance. I pull my mouth away as I slip it into his body up to the first knuckle. He keens, eyes shutting tight, and his body fights against me, clenching. His hand slows. I open my mouth, take his cock all the way down my throat and start pumping my finger, in and out, pushing in more and more.

His fingers twist in my hair.

“Ch-Ch-Changmin!” And then his cries are incoherent. His dick pulses. He’s so close, and I force a second finger into him, knowing it’s going to hurt, but even though his body tightens further, he’s too close for the pain to register, and he’s coming into my mouth, screaming.  
I swallow his release, finger fucking him faster until his taut body relaxes and he starts whining.

“Hy-hyung, it … it hurts.”

I don’t want to pull my fingers from his tight body, but I do. I kiss his entrance as it clenches. I want to fuck him so much. I spread his ass and lick at him until he’s squirming and gasping. I suck on his balls again and then kiss up further. There’s come all around his cock. I leave it and kiss his chest, pausing at his nipples. I push him down to the couch, and he’s suddenly nervous again as I take his legs and wrapped them around my waist.

“H-h-hyung,” he says, panicked.

I kiss him. “Don’t worry. I just have to come so fucking badly.”

I scoop up the come from his body and grip my cock. I moan as it slips easily in my hands. I kiss him again as I slick myself up. I grab his hips, lifting him up so my cock slides on his body, through more come, next to his cock. Holding him steady, I thrust again him, wishing it was his ass I was sliding into, wanting to feel that against my body. I cry out, head back as his hand wraps around me. And I look down at him, and there’s that look. That lust in his eyes. I pull him up by the neck, covering him in his own come and kiss him. Seconds later, I’m coming, moaning into his mouth and adding to the mess on his body. I collapse, pin him underneath him. His legs and arms wrap around me and hold me.

My phone rings with his sister’s ring tone.

I reach for it. “Hello?” I say, breathless.

“Hey,” she says, “you alright?”

I take a deep breath. “Yeah, just playing soccer with Su.”

“Ah. Good. I’ll be home in about ten minutes, unless you want me to pick up something for dinner.”

“Yeah, do that,” I say looking down at Junsu’s panicked face. “I don’t feel like cooking.”

“Okay. See you soon.”

I hang up before she says, “I love you.”

Junsu’s eyes are wide with fear. “H-hyung, what … what …”

I smile and kiss him. “Go clean up. Your sister will be here soon. We’ll talk more later, okay?”

He bites his lower lip. I kiss him, suck it into my mouth.

“Go on,” I say and sit up. He sighs and stands. That perfect ass in my face. I can’t help it. I grip his cheeks, spread him open and lick him.

“Hyung!” he says and laughs while swatting my shoulder.

“Sorry. Couldn’t help it.”

He laughs again and shakes his ass at me, but before I can spank him, he darts away, running out of the room and up the stairs. I sigh and gather our clothes. The shower starts. I clean up the come from me in the downstairs bathroom and then put my clothes back on. I head upstairs and put Junsu’s clothes in the hamper. The shower stops.

I reach for the door, cock jumping and decide that this time it’s not worth it.

I go back downstairs and make sure there’s no come on the floor or the couch. I flip to a soccer game right as Junsu’s sister comes in the front door.

“Hey baby,” Suyoung says and kisses my head. Her nose scrunches and a bit of panic bubbles up in me because I think she can smell the sex on me. “Soccer?” she says, “come on. You guys are always watching soccer. Let’s watch a movie.”

Junsu barrels down the stairs, stopping short when he sees his sister. He blushes, and I’m praying he won’t say something stupid.

“You okay, Su?” she asks, putting a hand to his forehead. “You’re all flush.”

“I’m fine,” he whispers, and then smiles. “Hungry?”

Suyoung laughs and hands him the bag of take out. “Go on, you growing boy.”

I stand up and kiss her cheek.

“Thanks for watching him,” she says and nuzzles into me.

I put my arms around her. “No problem. I like him.”

“I’m glad. He’s going to miss you when you leave.”

“I’m going to miss him.”

“He idolizes you.”

I don’t reply and head into the kitchen. I watch Junsu eat, chopsticks in his mouth. When we’re through eating, Suyoung says she’s going to go shower. Get the smell of hospital off her. I help Junsu clean up, the tension between us it agonizing. We wait until the shower starts, and then I gather him close and kiss him.

“Hyung?” he whispers.

“Huh?”

“Are … we … are we going to do this again?”

“Do you want to?”

He blushes and nods. “I like you.”

“I’m going to have to leave in two weeks, Su.”

He pouts and clings to me. “I know.”

I want to tell him not to get attached to me, but that would hypocritical since I’m already attached to him. I refuse Suyoung’s offer to stay the night, saying something about hanging out with some friends. I kiss her goodbye. Junsu avoids my gaze, as I search for him while I kiss his sister.

He disappears upstairs before I can say goodbye.

“I love you, Changmin,” Suyoung says.

I swallow and whisper, “I love you, Su.”


	2. My Little Visitor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I never thought I'd see Junsu again.

**Three years later ...**

I am about to open a bottle of soju when my doorbell rings. It’s probably just my neighbor, Yoochun, wanting to hang out. I work a lot and I never get to see him, but he likes to look at me a little too much, if you get my drift. I like him and all, but I’m not attracted to him like that. And his boyfriend is a possessive son of a bitch. Jaejoong will cut my balls off if he ever sees the way Yoochun looks at me.

I set the bottle on the counter and go to the door. The bell rings again just before I open it, and then I stop and stare.

“Su?”

He looks up, showing me so much vulnerability in those eyes, and one of them is bruised, blackened, and there’s still blood streaked along his cheek. He sniffs, looks away and coughs.

I continue to stare.

His shoulders rise and fall, and then he turns around to leave.

I grab his arm. “Su?”

He looks up at me again, and there are silent tears on his cheeks. I pull him inside quickly and shut the door. He lets me take his heavy backpack off his shoulder and then he collapses against me, arms around my waist and cries. I manage to get him to a couch, and he curls up against me. Like he used to. Arms around my neck, face buried in my shoulder, legs over my lap. Except now he’s taller and stronger and more gorgeous than I ever envisioned him being.

He cries for a long time, and I hold him for a long time.

“I …” His breath hitches. “I didn’t know where else to go,” he whispers.

Junsu had only been to my apartment once, and that was when I was still dating his sister and doing my best not to fuck her kid brother every chance I got. She found someone else her second semester in college. I found a job. Again, putting college on hold.

He’s seventeen now. I haven’t seen him in almost two years.

“I’m sorry,” he says.

“Hey, don’t be sorry.” I lift his face and run a soft finger over his unbruised cheek. “It’s good to see you, even if you’re not here for the best of reasons.”

He closes his eyes and a tear falls down his cheek.

“What happened?” I whisper.

He shakes his head.

“Okay. Come on. Let’s get you cleaned up.”

I lift him, not as easily as I could when he was three years younger and a lot of muscle lighter, but his legs wrap around my waist and he rotates with my arms, his arms around my neck. He doesn’t look at me. His breath is warm on my shoulder.

I carry him to the bathroom and sit him on the sink. He clings to my arm with a whine, takes a few deep breaths. He lets me go after a moment.

I grab a clean hand towel from the drawer and run the water until it’s warm. I soak it and then move back to him. His legs spread and I settle between them. He shuts his eyes as I wipe off his face.

“What happened?” I ask again.

“I … They … My father …”

It’s a story I know pretty well. “Your parents found out.”

He nodded. “I … I can’t go back.”

I stop and lean away to look at him. “What?”

“My … he says I’m not his son anymore and Mom … she just cried, and … noona, she’s at school, but … I …”

“How long ago did this happen, Su?”

“Yes-yesterday.”

I keep wiping his face and then notice blood on his clothes. “Shower?”

He nods. “Y-yeah. That would be good.”

“When was the last time you ate?”

He shrugs. “Y-yester-I don’t know. I’m … I’m not really hungry.”

I cup his cheeks and make him look at me. “You take a shower, okay, as long as you need, and I’ll go make some rice.”

“T-thanks, M-min.”

I take a deep breath and, knowing I shouldn’t, but not really caring, I lean forward and press our lips together. His hands clutch at my wrists and he whimpers and yanks himself away from me. He stares at his hands, twisting in his lap.

I almost apologize. I touch his cheek softly one more time, and leave the bathroom.

I go to the kitchen, open the forgotten bottle of soju with shaking hands and down half of it at once.

Fuck.

I never thought I’d see Junsu again. It’s not like we “broke up” because we weren’t really dating to begin with. I was fucking his sister at the same time, and every time I did, I grew a bit more disgusted with myself. But I couldn’t stop. Junsu was an addiction for me. Then suddenly, no more sister. No more Junsu.

My hands shake more as I measure rice and water into the rice cooker. The shower is still going even after it’s done and I finish the bottle of soju. As I walk to the bathroom, I tell myself it’s only concern for Junsu that’s making me want to peek inside.

And another rationalization: the blood on his clothes.

I detour to my bedroom and pull out a pair of comfortable shorts and a t-shirt.

The shower shuts off and I move a little faster. I knock on the door, but Junsu doesn’t say anything. I knock again and tell him I’m coming in. I hear a sharp intake of breath. I step inside, shutting the door behind me to keep the cool air from flowing into the room. Everything is foggy. And I have to blink to see. Junsu has a towel around his waist. He’s half turned away from me but I still see all the bruises on his chest.

“Fuck, Su.”

He turns away completely, and there are lashes on his back, like from a belt. I drop the clothes on the counter and move to him. He flinches when I touch his shoulder. He’s crying again.

“I … I didn’t want you to see them.”

I turn him around carefully, and then whisper, “They need lotion or something on them. Will you let me put it on?”

He bites his lower lip and nods.

“Come on,” I say and hold out my hand. He takes it and I lead the way to my bedroom, but he stops at the door, releases my hand and stares at the floor.

“Would you be more comfortable in the living room?”

He shifts from foot to foot and then shakes his head.

“Lay on your stomach,” I say. “I’ll be right back.”

I move back to the bathroom to grab some lotion and neosporin, and pick up the clothes from before.

He’s on his stomach in the middle of my bed. He has one of my pillows under his head, arms curled around it. The towel still hangs around his waist, but has ridden up to show the back of his thighs. It’s more or less only covering his ass. His incredibly plump gorgeous, oh-my-god-I-want-to-squeeze-that-ass ass. I swallow and will some control in my libido.

He flinches when I climb on the bed.

“Did your father do this?” I ask as I pour lotion on my hands.

He nods. “I … my mom stopped him.”

I take a deep breath just before my hands touch his skin. He tenses up, whimpers and then, when the pain doesn’t increase, he relaxes. The lotion soothes the redness away, and the neosporin cools the sting.

“Hy-hyung?” he says.

“Hm.”

“He … he …” Junsu grips the top of the towel. His neck and shoulders go red as he pulls at it. I reach over and help. There are deeper welts crisscrossing his buttocks and ass.

“Fucker,” I mutter. With a raging hard on, because god, this kid’s ass, I rub lotion over each cheek and then add neosporin to the worst welts on his upper thighs.

He’s gasping, and very very lightly rutting against the bed. Probably doesn’t think I notice.

“Turn over so I can get your front,” I say.

He freezes. “No. No. They’re … just …”

“Come on, _dongsaeng_ ,” I say using my best older brother voice.

He sighs.

“Don’t be embarrassed if you’re hard, Su-ah,” I say, and he looks over his shoulder, eyes widening as he sees my hard on tenting my sweats.

I smile and shrug. “You have a nice ass.”

He snorts, lips curling in a smile and then finishes rolling over. The towel does not go with him and I stare, mouth watering at his naked body.

I stare a little to long.

He nudges me with his foot. “You going to doctor me or perv over me, hyung?”

I shake my head to clear it. “Sorry.”

He smiles and then spread his arms. His chest rises with a deep breath. His eyes close.

I could do anything to him right now. I lick my lips, wondering if he still tastes the same as he used to.

“Pervert,” he sings.

And then he smiles widely and it makes my heart clench. I’ve missed his smiles so much.

I fall over him, hands on each side of his head. He bites his lower lip and turns his head, so I end up kissing his cheek. I growl in frustration. He puts his hands at my waist and tries to shove me away.

“You’re bedside manner sucks, hyung.”

“I know. Kiss me.”

“No.”

I drop my lips to his shoulder, barely grazing. I let my tongue run along his collar bone.

He shivers and then says, “Please don’t, hyung. I …”

I sigh and whisper, “Sorry. I’m being selfish.” I push up, sitting on his thighs and cover my hand in lotion. The bruises on his body aren’t too bad.

“You’re not seriously hurt?” I ask. “No sore ribs, no trouble breathing, or problems or blood when you pee or anything?”

He snorts and blushes but shakes his head.

“Good. Internal bleeding would be bad right now.”

“I think it’d be bad all the time.”

“Probably,” I reply with a smile. I finish rubbing the lotion into his chest. He keeps his eyes shut, breath steady, and even though we’re both hard as a rock, I climb off him when I’m through. I hand him the clothes and say, “Get dressed and come and eat. Rice is probably cold by now.”

He looks at me, and I look at him and then he nods. “Thanks, hyung.”

I leave the room. In the kitchen I pull out the ice cube tray and put an ice cube to my face and neck. Fuck, he’s so hot that I’m … god, I think if I touch myself right now, I’ll come. I hear the bedroom door open and quickly toss the ice cube in the sink. The rice is cold, but I scoop it into two bowls. I put his in the microwave just as he enters the kitchen.

I don’t dare look at him. But then decide there’s no point in not trying to look at him. I’m already hard.

He sits at the table and pillows his head on his arms. His back rises and falls.

“Are you through with school yet?”

He shakes his head.

“Do you need a ride tomorrow or--”

He mumbles something.

“What?”

He lifts his head so his chin is on his arm. “My father pulled me out of school. I can’t go back.”

I stare at him for a moment longer, jumping when the timer beeps. I pull his bowl of rice out, hissing and almost dropping it. It’s hot. I wave my hand a couple times to get rid of the sting. I put my bowl in the microwave, and then pull out soy milk and some cinnamon. I remember that he likes strawberries and I take a few from the fridge and cut them up in his bowl.

He smiles as I set it in front of him, and then grabs my wrist. He buries his face in my side. “I-I’m sorry, hyung, I … I didn’t know where else to go.”

I grip his shoulders lightly and push him away enough to kneel in front of him. I wipe at another tear on his face, and then trace the dark bruise under his eyes. “Don’t be sorry, Su-ah. I’m glad you came here.”

He leans into the touch. The microwave dings again, but I don’t get up. It’s odd. He’s grown up so much, and no longer the cute little fourteen year old I first kissed (and fucked), but now, he’s even more vulnerable, more scared, younger than he ever had been. Lost and tossed away. I have no idea what to say to him, but I know, that for the foreseeable future, I’m going to have a roommate.

This time, when I reach for his lips, he doesn’t stop me. True, he has his eyes shut, but even as I kiss him, he doesn’t push me away. Nor does he kiss me back. He sighs into the kiss though, and I wonder what that means. He offers no explanation, but sits patiently, until I end that first kiss, open my lips and add another one. I feel him swallow. His hand tightens at my hip, fisting my shirt.

He doesn’t want to kiss me.

The thought slams into the back of my head and I pull away with a gasp. All night, he’d turned his head or pulled away or flinched.

“Su-” I cut off, because I don’t know what to say. He’s moved on and I haven’t? But I had, until he showed up at my door.

I touch his lips. He parts them with a whimper and maybe he does want to kiss me. I hold his head steady and press my lips to his forehead. “Eat,” I whisper, “even if you’re not hungry.”

I stand up, and move to the counter. I’m shaking even worse than I had been before. I don’t know how … how could he not want me? I mean, before, he was hard, but he’d tried to hide it. He hadn’t done more than glance at my erection. He hadn’t tried to touch me at all, except for comfort. Maybe … maybe I am just pushing him too soon. He is an emotional mess, and maybe he doesn’t want it yet. He isn’t the same boy I last saw two years ago. I know that. I think that, but in my mind all I see are bright smiles, sweaty bodies, his cock pulsing in my hand.

I open the freezer, pull out a bottle of something stronger than SoJu and take a heavy swallow. “Fuck,” I whisper.

“You should eat too,” he says, voice unsure.

And I notice that it’s deeper than it used to be. Less tenor, more bass, and I remember that his sister said he’d joined the choir in high school.

I’m unsteady. I’m confused. I don’t know how to deal with an adult Junsu. It’s fucked up and backwards, but it’s true.

The bottle is still cold in my hands.

Might as well learn now.

I gesture at him with it. “You want some?”

He stops, spoon half way to his mouth. “Um?”

“Come on, Su, don’t tell me you’ve never had alcohol before.”

He swallows and says, “Well, yeah, but …”

“Take some if you want some,” I say, and then pour another mouthful down my throat. “And no, I’m not trying to get you drunk. Just … it takes away the pain sometimes.”

“Sometimes?”

I stare at the bottle and nod. “Yeah. Some pain is … stubborn.”

The chair scrapes across the floor, and then his hand is closing around mine on the bottle. He doesn’t let me let go. Our eyes meet as his mouth circles the glass. He doesn't have to lift his head to look me in the eye nearly as much as he used to. He tips the bottle back, and swallows once. His eyes squeeze shut, and he coughs as he lowers the bottle.

I breath out harshly and, with our joined hands, take one more swallow. I put the cap back on and open the freezer. He puts the bottle inside. His other hand settles on my hip for balance. I can’t help myself and put my arm around his waist, draw him closer as the freezer door slams shut next to our heads. His hands slide up my arms, around my neck and we hold each other. And now I’m even more confused, because I can’t tell if he wants me or not.

“I’m being extremely selfish,” I whisper against his hair. It’s gotten longer, just past his ears.

I feel his smile. A tiny shift in his body as his arms tighten. “Yes, you are.”

“I’m sorry,” I continue. “I never thought I’d see you again.”

“Yeah, me neither.”

It’s a little cold. Harsh. How does a seventeen-year-old say something with such bitter emotions?

I freeze and pull away from him. Maybe … maybe … he thinks I abandoned him, after breaking up with his sister.

Fuck. I never even thought about that before.

“God, I’m stupid,” I say.

And this time his smile is so wide, and so bright, and then he laughs. “Figured it out, huh?”

“I … fuck, Su. I’m sorry. I really …”

He pats my cheek like I'm ten years old and then leaves me standing there, staring after him. I have a moment to appreciate the roundness of his ass and then he’s out of the kitchen. The TV turns on a moment later.

“Fuck,” I say to the empty room. I rub my eyes with my hands in frustration.

It … god, after I dumped his sister, I never even thought to call him, or talk to him. It was like he was perk that came from dating her. I probably broke his heart. Okay, so no probably. I’m sure I did. And he probably felt used.

I’m very lucky that he decided to come here at all.

I take my bowl of rice and fruit, grab a spoon and go to the living room. It’s late, and there’s a music program on. I sit on the opposite side of the couch. He’s leaning on the arm of the couch, feet pulled up underneath him.

I rarely watch music programs, and I haven’t followed popular music for awhile. I doubt Junsu even knows who H.O.T. is.

“Oh my god, I love this song!” Junsu says suddenly. “I didn’t know they were performing it.” There are five guys onstage, singing and dancing and Junsu sings along. His voice is beautiful. Without uncurling his legs, he does the dance, moving his arms in sync with the guys onstage. It’s adorable, and I can only imagine what the rest of his body would look like doing the hip thrusts and body rolls the performers are doing onstage.

“Don’t you like this song, hyung?” he asks during a dance break.

I shrug. “Sure. It’s a pop song.”

“Oh my god, it’s Big Bang. They’re like the best pop group in Korea.”

I recognize the name of the group, but I never would have been able to name any of their songs.

“Ah, whatever. You’re getting old.”

I smile. “And senile and stupid, apparently.”

He looks at me for a beat and then smiles. “Yeah.”

We don’t talk. We don’t drift closer to each other. I don’t do what I really want to do and throw him to the couch and fuck him.

We watch TV for hours. I stay up way later than I normally would, but as the clock clicks close to two am, I can’t stop yawning. I stand up and stretch. “I’m going to bed. Do you want me to grab you a blanket or--”

“Can I sleep with you?” he asks, and then blushes, bites his lower lip and stares at the couch while picking at the hem of his borrowed t-shirt.

“Sure,” I say and hold out my hand.

He looks at it and then takes it. I turn the TV off, and then the lights in the living room, and the kitchen. I find him a new toothbrush when he asks, and we both prepare for bed. Not talking, awkward, nervous.

I haven’t felt this … unsure around someone since the I’d first started lusting after this kid.

And the age difference, twenty-three to seventeen, doesn’t seem nearly as wide as it did when it was twenty to fourteen. I keep reminding myself that he’s grown up.

He crawls into my bed, and my eyes follow the curve of his ass, shadows deepened by the lamplight. He sighs heavily and curls on his side, a pillow hugged close. I ponder him for a moment and then turn off the light. I strip my shirt off before climbing in on the other side of him.

We've never slept together.

I lay on my back, arms above my head, listening to him breathe.

“You broke my heart,” he whispers in the dark.

“I know.”

His breath hitches. “I - I swore if I ever saw you again, I’d kick you in the balls.”

“I would have deserved it.”

“I’m not saying I’m not going to, but … well, you’re letting me stay, so I figure that’d be sort of rude.”

I chuckle. “No. I’d still deserve it. I didn’t even think, Junsu. At all. I’m sorry. Really, sorry.”

“Yeah. Are you going to fuck me?”

The way he says _fuck_ as if it's the dirtiest word makes me wince. “Not if you don’t want me to.”

“I don’t. But you seem to have the same effect on my body as you did when I was fourteen. You could convince me.”

“I won’t.”

“So if I rolled over, pressed myself against you and started licking at your nipples, you’d tell me no.”

“Um …”

“Typical.”

“God, what? I’m sorry. Are you going to roll over and start licking my nipples?”

“No.”

“Then why ask that?”

“I don’t know. You’re sort of a bastard.”

I take a deep breath. Petulant teenager is worse than a woman scorned.

“Sorry, Minnie,” he whispers. He shifts to me until he’s pressed against my side. I take the invitation, and curl up around him, spoon him with one arm under his head, the other around his waist. His body shakes like he’s crying again, and I stay still, hold him until his breath levels into sleep.

I press a kiss to the spot below his ear.

The glowing numbers on my clock flip over to four and then to five, and at six, the alarm goes off. Junsu has rolled over in his sleep, face pressed against my chest.

I don't want to get out of bed, but I do, making sure he has the pillow to clutch onto.

I start coffee, god knows I'm going to need it today, and then take a longer shower than normal because I spent the night hard as a rock with seventeen-year-old gorgeous body next to me.

He's still asleep when I am ready to leave for work. I write a short note and put it on the kitchen counter, leaving him my cell number and my work number. I ask him to text me when he wakes up, and then as an afterthought, I warn him about Yoochun.

I am distracted at work. Thoughts of Junsu when he was younger plague me. I can't come up with a reason why I never called him. It was ... over. That sounds lame now.

My brief stints in college, as well as my GPA during that time, gave me enough credibility to get a low level job in a lawyer's office. The paralegals are above me, and I mainly do their grunt work. But it's a job, and I need it, and it's research. I love research.

Today, though, concentration has been buried in the books.

Junsu never texts me.

At four, my boss says I look like shit and sends me home. I don't want to go home, because I doubt Junsu is still there.

I almost fall asleep on the bus ride home. My heart is already breaking, my chest tight as I unlock my front door. But it's not locked and the knob turns. Laughter greets meet. Loud, squealing laughter mixed with a deeper voice. I stagger into the living room and see Junsu practically in Yoochun's lap, giggling and tugging on his shirt like he's eight.

Anger, jealousy rise up in me.

"What the hell?" I demand.

Junsu tilts his head back, looking at me upside and then he smiles and says, "Yoochun-hyung got me drunk."

"You weren't supposed to tell him," Yoochun says and digs his fingers into Junsu's ribs.

Junsu laughs and says, "Owe, hyung stop it. Stop it. Stooop it. Hurts my body."

"Oh, right. Sorry, baby."

Junsu pouts and then looks at me upside down again. "You look like shit, Minnie."

Yoochun chuckles.

I sigh and head to the kitchen to slam my head in a cupboard or something.

"Minnie?" Junsu says in question. "What's wrong with him?" he asks Yoochun.

"Probably just tired. He had to work today."

"Yep, and he lef'me again. Bye bye."

I wince and decide that I need some of whatever Junsu had.

"He left you?"

"Yes. Lef'me. Bye bye."

"When?"

"Nope. Secret. Big, big secret."

"Junsu!" I shout.

"See?" Junsu says. "Issa secret."

Before Yoochun can ask, I go back to the living room. I point at him and say, "Get out. Now."

"Someone has a secret," Yoochun says with a leer at Junsu.

Junsu smiles. "A big, big secret." He flings his arms wide.

"Yoochun, please," I say.

"Fine, fine." Yoochun tries to move Junsu off his lap, but Junsu clings to him. "I have to go."

"No. You stay protect from mean, mean Minnie."

Yoochun looks up at me, eyes narrowed.

I sigh. "Come on, Junsu. Let him go. He lives just next door."

Junsu pouts and falls off his lap, moaning as he crawls on the couch, feet digging into the back and Yoochun's leg. "Fine. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Ever'one leaves me. Or hurts me. Or both."

"I'll be back," Yoochun says.

Junsu scoffs, and then blows his lips together at him. "Go. Go. Go."

Yoochun smiles and ruffles his hair before standing up. As he draws level with me, he smiles and whispers, "I want the story behind this kid."

"You're not going to get it."

"What? You used to fuck him or something?"

I wince, and he nods. "Thought so. He's pretty tightlipped though, even after five shots of Bicardi."

"Five ... fuck. Yoochun."

Yoochun laughs, unrepentant. He claps me on the shoulder and leaves.

Junsu is still twisting around on the couch. I kneel next to him and touch his arm.

"What d'you want?" he asks.

"You alright?"

He nods. "Drunk."

"Yeah, you are. You're probably going to throw up soon."

He puffs his cheeks out and shakes his head. "Naw. Need more to puke. Give me more."

"Nope."

He turns his head and says, "Why did you leave me?"

"I had to go to work."

"No, stupid. Before."

"I ... I don't have an excuse, Su. I'm sorry."

He frowns. "Stupid man. Stupid."

"I know."

"Will you hold me like you used to?"

I smile. "Yeah. Will you let me sit on the couch?"

"I guess." He sits up, wavers, and his face pales. I fear he might throw up, then he swallows and pats the couch cushion, still wobbling. I sit down and he's immediately in my lap, legs around my waist, arms around my neck. He leans against me. "I really, really liked you, hyung."

"I know. I really like you."

"You like my ass."

"Why'd you drink more?"

He mutters something against my neck that sounds like. "No pain."

"You're going to have a headache later."

"You're a headache," he says, petulant. It makes me smile. I hold him tighter and he shifts until he finds another comfortable spot against me.

With my long arms, I barely reach the remote sitting on the side table. I turn the TV to news. A few minutes later, Junsu settles even deeper against me, and I realize he's asleep. Very carefully, I stand up and carry him to the bedroom. He refuses to let me go when I try to leave the bed.

"No, go, no."

"I won't," I whisper. "I have to change my clothes."

He opens one eye and watches me slip off my suit jacket and unbutton my shirt. I don't bother with sleep pants and just climb under the covers in my boxers and tank top.

He's immediately in my arms. "Still sexy," he mutters and then smiles.

I have no problems falling asleep.

Soft cries wake me up. I'm confused when the dark from behind my eyelids isn't gone when I open my eyes. And then the red glow of my alarm penetrates the sleep and I blink until I'm alert. It's after midnight.

Junsu is crying, curled in a ball away from me. He flinches when I touch his shoulder.

"Su-ah?"

"Please shut up, Changmin. Please."

"Fine, but I'm going to hold you."

I wait until he nods and then reach for him. With a loud cry, he throws himself at me and I hold him tightly.

"It's not fair," he whispers. "It's not fair."

I don't know what to say so I stay quiet, running my fingers through his hair, slightly rocking us.

"I really wanted to hate you," he whispers.

"You don't?"

He shakes his head against my chest. "I'm ... I'm still mad at you, but ..."

"I'm sorry."

He leans away enough to look at me. "What do I do, hyung?"

"Do?"

"School and ... someplace and ... I ..."

"Hey," I say and whisk his hair out of his eyes. "You'll stay here. And Monday, we'll go to the local school and tell them what's going on, and then you'll go back to school."

"They-will ... they ... do I have to tell them that I'm gay?"

"You should tell the principal and the teachers."

"Tell them about us?"

I smile. "You want me to go to prison?"

"Sort of. You'd deserve it."

"Yeah."

Junsu bites his lower lip and then he says, "Can I kiss you?"

"You can. It's probably not a good idea though."

Junsu nods. "I know. But ... but just. It's an option."

I chuckle and settle him against me. "Yes, it's definitely an option. But don't push yourself for my sake. I'm more than okay with being tormented by thoughts of you until you're ready. I really hurt you."

"You really did. Do you have to work tomorrow?"

"Yeah."

"Okay."

"Stay away from Yoochun."

Junsu laughs. "I like him. He's nice. And he tells me stories about you."

"Yeah, definitely stay away from Yoochun."


	3. His Little Slave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Junsu and I are dancing around each other now. It's hard, because I want him, but I don't know if he wants me. But I don't want to pressure him either. Combine that with work and I'm just about ready to explode from frustration.

The last three months have given me a new appreciation for the term "blue balls".

It was easy to slip into a routine with Junsu. He was eager to go to school, be with people who didn't know him so he could be himself. He gets teased a lot at school, he said, for being gay, but he's happier because he isn't lying. He has friends, and he's in the choir. He wasn't able to join the soccer team since the season was half over, but he's already signed up for a city league that starts in a few weeks.

Two weeks ago, our law firm landed a huge case, so I'm at the office for twelve hours a day. It's tiring. I come home often and find Junsu curled up on the couch, the television still on. He tries to wait up for me. On those nights, I carry him to bed and he wakes up only long enough to smile at me, tell me he missed me, and then place a half-asleep kiss against my cheek.

It's the only time he ever kisses me. But I've kept my promise to him. And the urge, desire, need to throw him on his stomach and fuck him has dulled. Now I want to kiss him, explore the ridges and expanses of his skin, listen to him pant while I press fingers into him.

And cue blue balls.

I groan and put my head on the table. Firm hands rub my shoulders.

"You okay, Minnie-ah?" Kyuhyun asks me. Kyuhyun is one of the paralegals. He's more or less in the same situation as me, but he actually finished most of his schooling. And he's able to finish his degree while he works.

"Sure," I say, muffled on my arm. His fingers dig into my neck. It feels good but it's not the fingers I want massaging my back.

"Take a break, come get a drink?"

"Let's just go for the night."

"We can do that too," he says, voice dropping.

I tense. "Not what I meant, Kyu."

"It should be. You stopped flirting with me, Min. I miss it."

"You never acted on it, so why should I follow a lost cause?" And I have a seventeen year old in my apartment I'd rather fuck, thanks.

"I'm acting on it now. Come home with me. Get rid of this tension in your body."

"No, thanks," I say.

"You're such a tease," he says.

I push up and away from the table, knocking him back and his hands leave me. Good. "I'm not a tease, Kyu. You had a chance, you lost it and now that I'm not interested in you, you're wanting to jump into bed with me. That's pretty shallow."

"Then why are you hard?" He smirks and crosses his arms.

"Trust me when I say it's not from you." I gather documents up and put them in my bag.

"Where are you going?" he asks after a moment.

I pull on my sport coat. "Home. I can do this work there without having to worrying about being molested." And that is so true. Junsu barely touches me unless he's asleep and we're in bed.

"Come to bed with me," he says as I pick everything up.

"No."

I leave the office, say goodbye to some of the other paralegals. They're surprised that I'm leaving, but no one stops me, because they know I've been working hard. It's not even six and god, I'm excited. I might actually get to have dinner with Junsu.

The bus is late, and it irritates me, but again, I suck it up and just wait, because impatience makes me stupid as I learned when I started fucking a fourteen-year-old.

I don't get home until almost seven, and when I walk into my apartment, it's dark, and there's obviously no one home. I immediately call Junsu, but he doesn't answer his cell. I go next door and knock on Yoochun's door until it finally opens. It's Jaejoong, half-naked ... well, completely naked, but there's a sheet around his body.

He smiles. "Minnie, you're home early."

"Where's Junsu?" I ask.

"Out."

"I didn't--"

"Of course, you didn't. Do you mind? Yoochun's all tied up and begging."

I sigh. "Is Junsu okay?"

"Yes. He wasn't expecting you home until later though, so don't be upset with him. He's not in any trouble. He's a good kid."

"I know."

"When you gonna hit it again?"

I shut my eyes with a sigh. Yoochun had pestered me for days and days and days until I finally told him about Junsu and me. He didn't wait to tell Jaejoong. Had called him and said, "You owe me twenty spankings. I told you he fucked Junsu."

Jaejoong chuckles. "He's scared, Minnie-ah. Afraid that if he lets himself do what he wants that's all you'll want and you'll leave him again when you get tired of him."

My eyes shoot open. "What?"

He nods. "He's still a kid, Minnie. He has tons of insecurities. And the last few weeks without you being home, they've grown worse. He knows you have to work, but he's a teenager. He internalizes everything."

"I ... I didn't realize."

Jaejoong smiles. "Yeah. I know. I tell him all the time that he needs to talk to you about it."

"So where is he?"

"Ah, nope. That's his secret. He'll be home in about an hour though."

"Okay. Thanks, Jaejoong. I can hear Yoochun moaning, you should get back to him."

Jaejoong smirks. "I think I'll go watch some TV. Let that vibrator in his ass simmer for a bit."

I laugh and say goodbye. I go back to my apartment. I'm exhausted, but I make dinner, chicken and kimchi and rice. My phone beeps with a text and it's from Junsu.

_fuck, i'm sorry. i'm coming home, don't be mad. i'll be there in like 10 mins_

I wonder if I should let him stew and I reply. **I'm not mad. See you soon <3**

I'm flipping the chicken over when the door opens and Junsu calls my name. He's in the kitchen a moment later and in my arms, muttering apologies at me.

"Hey, calm down. It's okay. It's not like you're my prisoner." He muffles his laugh on my chest. It feels so good to hold him. I haven't outside of us sleeping for such a long time.

"You made dinner?" he says.

"Yep. Get some plates. It's almost ready." I let go of him, but he clings to me. "Su?"

"I ... I ... I'm going to go change," he says and slips away from me. I know that's not what he was going to say.

I set the table, complete with a bottle of wine because I'm feeling delusional and romantic. It's our first dinner together in weeks. He'll only have a glass, like usual. Since his first day here, he hasn't been drunk.

"No candles?" he says as he comes back in the kitchen.

I smile. "Not today. Here." I hand him the wine bottle, and I watch, his muscles rippling as he pops out the cork. He pours, more for me than for him. We sit and eat dinner in silence.

He finishes eating before I do, like usual. He eats really fast. Normally he gets up and goes to watch TV, but today, he rises and starts doing the dishes. Now, I know something is up. I usually have to force him to do dishes.

"Are you going to tell me where you were tonight?" I ask. "Jaejoong says it's your secret."

He visibly stiffens and then mutters something.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"The only reason why I'm not worried or freaking out is that Jaejoong said it wasn't bad, but then again, Yoochun and Jaejoong's ideas of morals and what is or isn't bad are different than mine, so maybe I should freak out."

"Please, hyung. You have no right to lecture anyone about morals."

I open my mouth and shut it. "Good point. So where were you?"

He rinses his hands off and then says, "I ... hang on." He leaves the kitchen. I finish eating and take my dishes to the sink. I down the last bit of wine in my glass.

When Junsu comes back, he's obviously nervous. He hands me an envelope. I take it carefully, mind whirling with all the possibilities of what's inside. I almost drop it though when I see it's full of cash.

"Su?"

He launches into an explanation. "I feel bad and you don't realize but sometimes I look over your shoulder when you're on the computer, and sometimes I see your bank account, and you're always frowning because I know you're having to spend your savings and all having me here and it's not fair because you should go to college again and I'm ruining that for you, so Jaejoong got me a job and I .. this is rent, for next month and I'll pay you back for everything and--"

"You have a job?" I say, flabbergasted.

He bites his lower lip, looks at the floor and scuffs it with his bare toe. "At the bookstore, where Jaejoong always goes. It's only three times a week, but since you've been working late, I asked if I could work more too, and Jaejoong said I had to tell you but I knew you'd say that I couldn't because you want me to concentrate on school, but I my grades haven't slipped because I can do my homework when it's slow, and I just ... I just ... I want to help."

I look at the envelope of money again.

"Don't be mad, please."

The envelope lands on the the floor with a brush of paper on linoleum. I step to him and gather him up in my arms. He's breathing really fast as I hold him.

"I'm not mad, Su. Thank you, but you're right. I'm not going to take your money. You should save it for college."

He pouts and hits my shoulder. "You're stubborn. Just take it."

"No. Save it."

"No. It's for you. It's my part. Take it."

I grip him tighter against me. His fingers dig into my back. And then his chest bows into mine. Our bodies mold in a way that they only do when we're in bed. He whimpers from the contact, and then yanks himself away from me. Two steps back, and he hits the wall separating the living room and kitchen. He's half hard in sweatpants. His eyes remain shut.

"Su?"

He shakes his head. "Please. Please just take it," he whispers.

I nod even though he can't see me. "Okay."

He exhales half a whimper and then quickly leaves the kitchen. A door slams shut, probably the bathroom. I bend down and pick up the money. I think of opening an account for him, where I can put this money and save it for him, but it's his decision, and I will respect it. I put it in my wallet.

After finishing the dishes, I go to the living room to watch the nightly news. A few minutes after I've settled, Junsu sits down, wrapped in a blanket. An awkward energy flows off him, and I think back to what Jaejoong said about Junsu being afraid of me ditching him .

So I think of a way to show him that I'm not going to. I moan, rotate my neck and lift a shoulder.

"Hyung?"

"Sore muscles. Being bent over boring lawyer research texts."

"Ah. Still can't talk about the case?"

"Nope. It's a big one. I shouldn't have left early, but Kyuhyun was hitting on me again."

I see him freeze out of the corner of my eye. "Kyuhyun?"

"Yeah, he's my age. When I first started working there, I asked him out, but he said no, and now that I don't want him, he's hitting on me. Well, it's more like he's telling me to go to his house so he can fuck out my frustrations, but yeah."

"And you haven't?"

I look over at him. He meets my eyes for a moment, and then looks down at his lap.

"No, Su. I haven't. I won't."

He nods and then bites his lips before saying, "Yunho, this kid at school, keeps asking me out."

"And?"

He shrugs, still not looking at me. "And ... I don't know. He's really nice, and really handsome, but ... but I don't want him."

His eyes flick to mine for a moment, and he blushes, looking away.

I stare at him, trying to decide if I take this opportunity, or if I wait for him. I don't want to force him, or push him, or make him think I don't want him. He's grown up a lot over the past three months, and his smiles and laughter are back. He beats me at chess without me having to lose on purpose.

With a sudden whimper, Junsu buries himself in the blanket. His legs draw up to the couch as he curls into a ball. A shaking shivering crying ball.

And I'm not as stupid as I used to be. I slide over the couch, put an arm around his back and draw him into my lap. It's been a long time since he's broken down like this. At least, in front of me. I have a suspicion that he goes to Jaejoong or Yoochun when he needs to talk to someone. That hurts. I want him to talk to me.

"I can't do this anymore, hyung. I ... I can't." He's twisted his head enough that half of his face is visible from under the blanket. The other half is pressed against my chest.

"Do what?" I whisper.

He shrugs. "I don't know. What are we doing?" He pushes up, hands on my chest. The blanket only falls part way, and clings to his head. He looks at me, eyes desperate. "Yunho isn't the only one, hyung. My boss ... he leers at me, like how Yoochun leers at Jaejoong and I hate it, but when he asks if I have a boyfriend, I can't say yes, can I?"

"Our relationship is pretty twisted," I reply because I don't know how to answer that question.

"It's always been twisted," he says and sneers. He tries to climb off my lap, but I hold him closer. The blanket falls to his waist. His hair is staticky, sticking up in weird places. I smile and run my fingers through it, making the cling worse. He whines even as he arches into the touch.

"Look," I say, "I like you, Su-ah. I really do, but this is your choice, not mine."

"My choice? When has anything in my life been my choice, huh?" He yanks away from my hand.

"Su--"

"You took advantage of a fourteen-year-old. You fucked my sister and then left me when you were done with her. I had to leave my house, and ..."

"You didn't have to come here," I say.

"Where else was I supposed to go? Live on the streets. Hook myself on street corners? I've gotten offers when I'm on the bus."

There are angry tears in his eyes now.

"I ..." He bites his lip and shakes his head. "I feel like I have to. Like I'm obligated because I'm living here."

"I never wanted you to feel like that, Su-ah. Ever. Have I tried anything with you, huh? When was the last time I kissed you, really really kissed you?"

He shrugs.

"Is that why you gave me that money? So you don't feel like you have to let me fuck you to pay me back, even though you owe me nothing?"

"M-maybe."

"Su-ah, you don't owe me anything. I still feel like I haven't done enough for you because I did take advantage of you when you were fourteen and I did leave you and hurt you more than I can imagine. Nothing I do will ever repay that pain. And yes, this is your choice. I ..." I cut off the profession of love just in time. "I don't know what to do with you anymore, Su-ah."

Junsu crosses his arms and glares at me. "What does that mean?"

I smile. "It means that I want to throw you on this couch and memorize the way your skin feels against my tongue. And I want to do it every time I see you, and it means that I want to see the way you squirm underneath me, the way your eyes darken with lust and the way your skin will shine covered in sweat and come. That's what it means. But I don't want to hurt you. I don't want you to think that sex is all I want. I love you."

Oops. Didn't manage to stop that one. Oh well. I can't take it back. I don't want to take it back because it's true.

He climbs off my lap and I let my hand trail down his arm.

"I'm so confused," he mutters and sits on the couch, back to me. He pulls his legs up and wraps his arms around them. I lean against his body, and he doesn't stop me when I put my arm around him. He sighs and tilts his head onto my shoulder.

"I want you to feel like you can tell your boss you have a boyfriend," I say. "I want you to feel like I'm your boyfriend."

"I already do," he whispers. "God, this is so fucked up." He rubs his face harshly with his hands, fingers pulling at his hair.

"Tell me what you want, Junsu, and I'll give it to you. I'll do it to you. I'll be it for you."

Junsu sighs and lays his head on his bent knees. I follow him over and lay my face against the middle of his back.

"I don't want you to hurt me, hyung."

Before I can tell him I won't, he continues, "I know you won't mean to. I know that you want to tell me that you won't hurt me, but it's terrifying. How do I know you're not going to leave me again?" This last is whispered so quietly, that I know more from my heart that he said it.

"You've already been hurt so much, Su-ah. I would die if I caused anymore of it."

"Pretty words, hyung."

He shifts and I let him move around until we're facing each other, our legs bent and entwined. I can hardly breath as he put his arms around my waist, and then my heart stops as his lips press against mine. It pulls a startled cry from my throat, that drops to a moan immediately. I feel him smile and then he pushes and I fall back until I'm flattened into the couch and he's demanding more and more form my mouth.

I don't notice that he's latched onto my wrists until he's pinning my hands above my head.

I want to touch him.

"Su," I whine and lift my hips. His eyes close and then he grins as he breaks away from my mouth.

"Keep your hands there."

"Su."

He grins. "No. Keep them there. I'm going to test something." He slides back and his fingers grip the waistband of my pants.

"Su," I say this time panicked, but when I reach for him, he looks up at me with a glare. Properly chastized, I put my hands above my head. I make sure I can reach the arm of the couch because that look in his eyes says I'm going to have to hold on to something. "Okay, okay," I say, "but please note that I think you're doing this too soon."

He rolls his eyes. "You fucked me when I was fourteen, hyung. I think 'too soon' happened back then."

I laugh and nod.

He slides open the clasp on my pants. His hands are doing no more than grazing my crotch in passing, but I'm suddenly hard as a rock. When he palms me through my boxers, I moan and arch my back, feet digging into the couch. My vision blurs and red-hot heat rushes along my skin. My nipples harden and yep, I'm clutching at the arm of the couch. And all he's done is touch me.

Fuck.

He tugs on the band of my boxers and I lift my hips so he can pull them and my pants off, leaving me in a tanktop and my unbuttoned white shirt from work.

"I wish I had a tie," he says with a grin, "shove it in your mouth to keep you from saying anything else stupid."

He runs his hands up and down my thighs, fingers barely touching my balls on each upstroke. And with each one of those touches, my cock jerks and pumps precome onto my stomach. I'm going to come as soon as he touches me.

"I never let anyone else fuck me," he says, slowing his hands.

I blink a few times until his pensive face comes into focus.

"I mean, blow jobs and hand jobs yeah, but ... but no one ever fucked me, hyung."

I really wish I could say the same thing.

He smiles suddenly and says, "I mean, it's not that it mattered back then, but I decided that after you, I'd rather wait for it. Grow up some before I ended up letting someone else rip out my heart."

And the good feeling of knowing only I've fucked him goes away. "I'm sorry, Su."

"I know." He leans down and presses his lips against the bend in my hip. My cock slides along his cheek and then he turns his head, getting rid of that small touch. His tongue leaves a hot, wet trail up my stomach. His hands grip my thighs. "So anyway," he says, leaving kisses down my other side, and then over my thighs. "I heard Yoochun tell Jaejoong that you haven't had sex in three months, with anyone."

"I haven't."

"And then," he says, glaring at me, "I figured that you could have been lying since you know that I'm over there all the time and they're good hyungs that don't perve after me."

I snorted.

He laughed. "Okay, so they do, but they don't act on it. Anyway. Since I thought that maybe you were lying, I told myself that I would run a little experiment to see if you had sex or not since I've been here."

I'm about to ask what that experiment is, and then he licks up my dick with the flat of his tongue. I moan, head back, eyes squeezed shut. The pleasure had died as he talked, but it returns in full force as he continues to lick just the twitching shaft.

"Oh, fuck, Su-ah."

His tongue moves to one side, licking just at the base, over and over again before sliding up a centimeter and licking there. He does this all over my cock. Everywhere but the head. I want to feel his tongue there, have that pressure against the tip, but he doesn't, no matter how much I whine and beg for him to suck me. It's agonizing, and my orgasm is twisting through me, growing and fading each time he moves his mouth. His breath is hot against my skin and when he finally cups my balls, I practically scream.

His tongue runs along the ridge of my cock, dips once into the slit and then his lips close around the tip and in a matter of seconds, I'm shouting his name and coming in his mouth.

He coughs, probably not expecting it, but he doesn't pull his mouth away. Instead sucking harder and harder, like a normal blow job, not like I'd just come in mere seconds having his lips on me. It's too sensitive and I'm squirming and twisting trying to get him to stop but every time I say his name he sucks on the head again and I'm grabbing the arm of the couch while my moans echo around the living room.

"Please, stop, Su, fuck. Please."

He pauses only enough to mutter, "Don't wanna," into the middle of the shaft and then goes back to mouthing sucking and stroking me.

I can do nothing but gasp. He shimmies down a bit more and I lift my leg to the back of the couch to make room for him. He sucks my balls into his mouth.

"Oh, fuck, Junsu."

He hums throwing vibrations up my skin. His hand is still loosely wrapped around my cock. It's maddening, extra sensitive from the first orgasm and he's playing with my balls the same way he did my cock. His tongue laps lower, and then over my thighs. I whimper, bury my face in my hands and grip at my own hair so I don't reach for him. He nudges my other leg and with a frustrated whine, I lift it, and my foot settles on his back.

His tongue slides from my thigh to the curve of my ass.

"Um, Su?" I say, but then moan as he continues soft licks, and then nibbles and sucks on each curve and then I decide I don't give a fuck if he wants to lick me. I haven't bottomed for a long time, but if that what Su wants, then that's what Su will get. He lets go of my cock and I moan. His breath is soft as he laughs, then his fingers splay over my inner thighs, and I shift my hips down, ass rising. He spreads me open and then just breathes on me, lips close, breath ghosting over my entrance.

"Fuck, Su, lick me, please, god."

His tongue touches me, barely and I cry out, trying to keep still even as my back arches off the couch again. And then he stops teasing, really licking me, and my brains goes blank, thinking of nothing but his tongue on in around my body. Nothing registers but the second orgasm coiling through me. Pleasure spikes along my skin as his finger presses against my entrance, not entering, just there as his tongue continues to fuck me.

"Junsu, god damn it. Please. Please."

His tongue leaves me just as his finger presses in. I moan, eyes shut and whine at the stretch. It's slow, and erotic since he's never touched me there before. He kisses up my body as more and more of his finger pushes into me. He bites my chest through my tank top, gnawing on my nipples.

"I want to touch you, please, Su-ah, let me touch you, please."

I hiss, eyes shutting tightly as the pressure and fullness increase. Another finger, god damn.

"Maybe I don't want you to touch me," he whispers, lips brushing mine.

I whimper, but when I lift my head to kiss him, he moves away and tsks at me. "Su," I beg again. "Please.

"Almost done with my experiment, hyung. Open your eyes."

I do with difficulty and the image of Junsu in front of me is blurry. But not that blurry. I whimper when he removes his fingers and then moan as he sucks on them, making them shine. A trail of spit drips onto my legs. He reaches for me again and I moan, trying to spread my legs more, lifting my ass.

Both fingers push into me, but it's so slow. I want it fast and hard. His other hand presses my cock against my stomach.

"Jun-S-Su!" I cry out. He doesn't stroke me, just pushes, relaxes, pushes and pumps his fingers in and out of me.

"Ready to come again?" he asks, voice amused and prideful.

I nod. "God, yes, please. Fuck. Yes."

"Good."

And everything stops. He pulls away from me and I whine in disbelief. He laughs. I'm trying to blink vision back into my eyes when the lights dim.

"Sit up, and no touching yourself."

I take a deep breath and do as he says, wincing at the slight sting in my ass. He's standing close, by the edge of the couch. I see the shadow of a tent in his sweat pants.

"Is your experiment over?" I ask.

He nods. "Yep. You pass."

"Oh, gee, that's good."

He frowns and says, "If you hadn't passed, I'd be in the bathroom right now crying, so yeah. It is good."

"Su?"

He shrugs. "JaeChun said you hadn't been fucking anyone. I wanted to make sure, and you came in like ... a minute and your ass is nice and tight."

I stare at him wondering where my little Junsu has gone. It really hits me that he's more man than boy now. I really need to start treating him that way.

"Well, okay then. And do I get to test you and see if you've been fucking anyone?"

He smiles. "I'm seventeen, hyung. I can come in one minute whenever I want and my ass is always tight."

"Oh, god," I say, half chuckling.

"You'll just have to trust me."

"I do."

"Good. Remember, no touching yourself. Or me. Maybe I should go find a tie."

"I can control myself."

"Since when?" he shouts over his shoulder as he leaves the living room.

I take a deep breath, trying to calm myself down. He's gorgeous and sexy and suddenly so confident. "Can I take my shirt off?" I shout.

"Sure!" he says back.

I slip the button down off my shoulder and then pull the tank over my head. My eyes widen when Junsu comes back to the living room. He's naked and has one of my neckties around his neck, twirling the end between his fingers. And he's smirking. God, damn where did he learn to smirk like that?

He heads to the stereo and then the little bitch bends over, wiggling his ass at me. He peers over his shoulder. "You're not touching yourself right?"

I swallow and shake my head.

"Think you'd manage if I started prepping myself."

"Oh, god."

"I'll take that as a no."

"Su, what--"

A quiet beat fills the room; some pop song that I know I've heard in the last three months. Junsu smiles wickedly at me again before walking over to me.

"Now, be a good boy, and let me tie your hands because otherwise you are going to touch yourself."

"Su," I mutter. A weak protest, but my wrists are already pressed together. He leans forward and I go to kiss him, but he stop, lips almost touching and just breathes.

I whimper and then realize he's dancing, swaying his hips in time with the beat.

"Have I mentioned that I was in a talent show for dancing last year? And I won."

I shake my head, mouth to dry to speak. He smirks again, and I make a mental note to talk to Yoochun about teaching Junsu bad habits, and then remind myself that I taught him how to suck cock.

He pulls away from me, arms crossed, body still moving to the beat. The movements flow as he trails his fingers on his skin and then spreads his arms. The tie is still in his hands and in the next moment he slips it over his head, in time to the music. It's sensual and obscene.

"I hope you didn't dance like this at that talent show," I manage to say.

He laughs and shakes his head. "No. I learned this from someone else."

I scowl.

"Jealous?"

"Yes."

"Good."

He continues dancing and god, I wish he'd tied my hands up because their gripping my thighs right now as I'm trying not to stroke my cock and jerk off to the show.

"Arms behind your back, hyung," he says.

I take a deep breath and do as he says, leaning forward on the couch. He arches over me and wraps the tie around my wrists. His cock is in my face and I reach out and lick the tip of him.

He laughs, moving away and then slaps my shoulder. "Bad hyung."

I rearrange, slouching on the couch so there isn't too much pressure on my wrists. My legs spread. With hands on his hips, he looks me up and down. My cock twitches under his gaze. He smiles, really slow, and then starts moving, swaying, turning to the music. At first it's pretty innocent (despite the naked thing), and then he touches himself. Slides his hands over his arms, fingers into his hair, fingertips across his chest, pausing to flick his nipples.

God, I've been to strip bars before, but he's so much better than any of them. Not in talent, because there are a few awkward moments, but it's Junsu, and oh god.

"Let me touch you," I beg, "Please."

He smirks and then turns around and his hands continue the circuit around his body, along his sides and then over his hips. His ass sways, and then jerks to the beat. He digs his fingers into the mounds and then bends over and I'm pretty sure that I'm going to come again as soon as he touches me.

And then he sits in my lap, ass against my crotch, skin against skin. He doesn't stop dancing, sliding over me, around me, and the pools of precome make everything wet and slick. He shifts until my dick is between those plump cheeks and then he rocks, in time to the song, as his hands continue to trace along his body and my legs.

"Fuck, Su, fuck."

I'm dying to touch him, but I can't. I slide down the couch more and then thrust into his body. It throws him offbeat, but he doesn't care and leans against my body. His arm lifts up, hand tangling in my hair and our lips meet as I thrust faster, and then I'm coming. Hard, biting on his lower lip as I moan and pant.

"We gotta work on your stamina, hyung," Junsu says with a laugh.

I grunt, eyes shutting as the aftereffects of my orgasm immobilize me into a pile of "useless" on the couch.

"I needed the lube though, so thanks." He slips off my lap, onto the floor. Hands and knees. Nothing is registering except now I'm cold without his body next to mine. But I'm hot as I watch him slide his finger in the mess I made.

"Fuck," I mutter as he pushes a finger into himself. I tug on the tie. It gives a little and I want to keep tugging until it comes off so I can slide a finger inside him, but I know he'd be upset. It's his little game and I'm his willing slave.

Another finger is added and he whimpers my name. Our eyes meet and I swallow at the dark, hungry look in his eyes.

"I want to touch you so much," I say, and run my foot up his side. My toes dig into his ribs and he laughs, swatting me away with his free hand.

"I don't have a foot fetish, hyung," he says.

"Let me touch you," I beg, "please. I want to feel your body clench around my fingers."

He shivers and then slides a third finger into himself. His hole squelches and come seeps down his thighs.

I whisper to him, more about how I want to touch him, how sexy he is, gorgeous ass and muscles. He's panting, and his other hand strokes his cock.

"Please, Su-ah. Come and ride me, please."

He smiles and with difficulty, shuts his eyes and removes his fingers. "I knew you were capable of having a good idea."

Fluidly, he stands up, turning with the same movement. His body is amazing, abs taut, cock hard and leaking onto the floor. He crawls on the couch, straddling me. His arms land on the couch over my head.

"Put yourself in me," he says, and then smiles. "Oh, right, you can't."

"Su," I whine.

He reaches behind him, grabbed my cock with messy, come-covered fingers. He strokes me a few times, and then lowers himself until the head of my cock is sliding along his body, but never inside. It's agonizing and sensitive and I can't help but squirm. He kisses me, stealing my breath and then forcing it from my body as he tightens his hold and then pushes down. The head of my cock is sucked into him, and then stops as he tightens up. He breaks away from my lips, panting. He lifts up and then down, taking more of me, so fucking slowly. His body squeezes around me, and my eyes shut. I lean my head back with a moan, unable to move as he takes his time, adjusting and twisting, until he's seating in my lap.

His body is too tight. Too fucking tight. That's all I can think as his channel clenches around my body. Too much. Oh, fucking hell. He doesn't move, but sits there and strokes his cock. His breath is labored and his eyes are shut. The grip on my shoulder keeps him balanced as his hand flies over his cock.

I want to kiss him, but when I lean forward to do so, my dick moves inside him and he cries out, hips lifting and falling as he rides me, and all I can do is lean back and enjoy it. It's still so agonizing, and my body is so tired, but another orgasm is building and teasing me. He's pulling it closer and closer. I cry out as his body grips me, even tighter and he's crying out as his cock jerks and warm come splatters on my stomach.

He collapses against me, hips rising. and he whimpers as I almost slip out of him, then he pushes down, takes me again, and then again.

"Untie me, Su-ah," I whisper against his cheek.

He shakes his head. "If I untie you, you might leave again."

"I won't, god, Su, I won't."

He wraps both arms around my neck and rides me, slower than before and it's even more agonizing and I thought that'd be impossible. He stays slower and then my head is swimming and my vision is blurry. Our lips meet and he leads the kiss, keeping it as slow as his movements.

I'm glad he didn't untie me because I'd be fucking him hard and fast right now, and this is so much better.

"I love you, Su," I say into our kiss.

He sighs, not returning it, but moving a little faster. He kisses down my neck and collar bones as my orgasm grows again. Slow, twisting, and suddenly there a few minutes later. I moan his name, another gasping love confession and then I come inside him, his body dragging my orgasm out with slow contractions.

He stops moving and then slides down to the floor. His hands wrap around my waist and he loosens the tie. I grab his hands and bring them to my mouth to kiss each palm. He's smiling when he stands up, and I put my arms around him and bury my face into his stomach.

Junsu kisses the top of my head and then turns in my arms. I get up and follow him down the hall. Come is leaking from his body and I slide my fingers through it, pushing two inside him as we walk. He falters, knee shaking.

"Don't," he says.

"Sorry," I reply and remove my fingers. He grabs my wrist and licks them clean with a devilish glint in his eyes.

I moan as my cock stirs again. "It's going to be a long night, huh?"

He smiles and nods. "Long, long, long, long night. We have two years to make up for after all."

"All in one night?"

"Don't act like you don't want to," he says and grabs my cock.

I whimper and hold him tightly and kiss his neck. "I am yours to command."

"I've always wanted a slave."

"I'm yours, Su-ah. I guess I always have been. I was wrong to let you go, wrong to hurt you and I'm so glad that you've forgiven me."

He turns in my arms and pouts. "Forgiven you? Hardly. You have a lot to make up for, hyung. From your knees."

I smile and drop to my knees, licking at some of the come on his stomach.

"Better," he says. "Come on. You're going to pamper me in a bath and then you're going to pamper me in a bed. And then you're going to fuck me until I can't walk."

I whine. His hand tangles in my hair and like a good little slave, I crawl after him into the bathroom.


End file.
